And the way you earn it? Reps.
Repetition. Practice. Taking action before you feel ready.
Doing the thing—over and over—until it becomes second nature.
Confidence isn’t the prerequisite for action. It’s the result of it.
This is something I’ve learned firsthand, and it’s a truth Erika Cramer—The Queen of Confidence—drives home in her TEDx talk, ‘How Radical Responsibility Can Change Your Life’. Erika isn’t just a confidence coach; she’s someone who has lived through the depths of self-doubt, trauma, and insecurity, only to emerge stronger through the power of personal accountability and intentional practice.
Erika Cramer’s Confidence-Building Exercises
To truly own your confidence, Erika suggests the following practices:
1. The Mirror Talk Exercise
Most people avoid eye contact with themselves in the mirror, especially when they’re feeling low. Erika challenges us to face ourselves head-on.
Try This:
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- Stand in front of the mirror every morning.
- Look yourself in the eyes and say, “I am powerful. I am worthy. I am capable.”
- Repeat it—even if it feels silly or uncomfortable at first. Repetition rewires your brain.
Confidence isn’t about waiting until you feel worthy—it’s about telling yourself you are, until you believe it.
2. The ‘Own Your Story’ Exercise
Erika emphasizes the importance of embracing your past—both the good and the painful—as part of your power. Too often, we shrink back because we believe our mistakes, failures, or struggles make us “less than.” But the truth is, owning your story makes you magnetic.
Try This:
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- Write down the 3 biggest challenges you’ve overcome in life.
- Reflect on how each challenge shaped you into the person you are today.
- Ask yourself: How did this experience make me stronger?
- Share your story—whether in a journal, in conversation, or even on social media.
Confidence isn’t about perfection; it’s about authenticity. The moment you stop hiding your truth, you become truly magnetic.
Reps: How I Built Confidence in My Own Life
In the moments where I felt the least confident, I asked myself:
❓ How many reps have I done?
❓ Have I practiced enough to be good at this?
❓ Am I willing to keep going even if I don’t feel ready?
The truth is, nobody feels ready at the beginning.
- Public speaking? The first time, you’ll feel awkward. The 10th time, you’ll feel comfortable. The 100th time, you’ll own the stage.
- Sales calls? The first few feel clunky. The more you do them, the more natural they become.
- Job interviews? The first one might be nerve-wracking. After a few, you learn how to own the room.
The more reps you do, the more confidence you build.
The Formula for Confidence:
Radical Responsibility + Repetition
That means:
✔ Showing up for yourself, even on the days you feel like hiding.
✔ Practicing your craft, your skill, your presence—until it becomes second nature.
✔ Owning your story and knowing that every challenge has made you stronger.
If you want to become confident, don’t wait for it to appear.
Go out, do the reps, and earn it.
– Jo